FOMO
I think most of us from an early age, and now more than ever, have always had some “fear of missing out” about something, and maybe, almost everything.
And for any of us who have had a lifetime issue, challenge, battle, whatever you name it with our shape, our size, and weight, I’d like you to consider that the “fear of missing out” FOMO has been running the show.
Especially if you, like me, have been an ………
“emotional, secret and binge eater.”
What I mean by that is think about all of the thoughts that have been running the show when you were ever in the early stages of thinking that you wanted to lose weight, go on a diet, or maybe even start exercising.
And if you’re thinking about doing one, two or all three of those things today or in the near future consider that the “fear of missing out”, FOMO is running the show before you start and will be running the show after you start.
Don’t believe me, well join me as I look at each one separately for myself and see if you can relate to what I’m experiencing.
Losing Weight…
I don’t know about you but every time I start to even remotely think “I need/want to lose some weight” my Losing Weight FOMO Voice starts running a dialogue in my head about all of the things I CAN’T DO… all of the things I CAN’T ENJOY… all of the fun treats I CAN’T HAVE… For me the first FOMO thoughts that always surface are all about all of the things I’ll MISS OUT on the first day I start and everyday I’m doing whatever to lose weight.
Dieting…
My Dieting FOMO Voice is just like my Losing Weight FOMO Voice except it’s much more specific about all of the things I CAN’T EAT always starting with I CAN’T EAT CARBS and then doing a dive into a long list of specific foods I either SHOULDN’T or CAN’T eat, and if I do give myself a little wiggle room to have a SHOULDN’T or CAN’T I have that (or try to) always at a much smaller size or quantity. And once I either think thru or specifically list out everything I can have on that diet then I layer on my I CAN’T HAVE… list, and again all of the things I CAN’T ENJOY… list, and all of the fun treats I CAN’T HAVE… my FOMO thoughts that always surface are even more heightened about all of the things I MISS OUT on no matter what diet I’m on because I still see a diet as a MAJOR LOSS OF FREEDOM, of PLEASURABLE CHOICES, as something that can only be tolerated for a limited time as I see it all as RESTRICTION! RESTRICTION! RESTRICTION!
Exercising…
Last but not least my Exercising FOMO Voice is more about being a ongoing TIME SUCK (MISSING OUT) for other things I’d like to do and are also a MAJOR FEAR FAILURE because I know based on past history I’ll start something, give it a day, a few days, a week, maybe even a few weeks, and then I’ll let something get me off track and I’ll feel like I’ve failed once again.
For now I just wanted to get this thought out of my head and share it with you to see if you agree. I have some ideas of how I’ve overcome this often-reoccurring mindset and the thoughts about them are certainly not as powerful for me at they used to be when I was 435 LBS and climbing but they still exist and I know they’re the kinds of thoughts have kept me in a holding pattern for 10+ years living between 250 – 275lbs.
I’m not complaining because I certainly have cracked the code on how to maintain my size, shape and weight for a very long time, and pretty much enjoy any food I want, and exercise in ways that are pretty sustainable.
But truth be told I’m still not at a size, shape and weight that I’m satisfied with which is somewhere between 200-215lbs with about 15 more LBS of lean muscle mass and 15% body fat. And to make that happen and then maintain and sustain that range I need/want to move out of my “I’m OK” range, which is where I’m at.
But that’s for another post.
What are your thoughts?
What are your strategies?
It’s interesting to see how Wikipedia has defined Emotional, Secret and Binge Eating which to me have massive FOMO filters running through all of those behaviors…
Emotional Eating
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_eating
Secret Eating a.k.a Food Addiction
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Food_addiction
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secret_Eaters
Binge Eaters
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Binge_eating_disorder
And… I thought it would be interesting to see what Wikipedia had to say about all things FOMO… Below are my edited thoughts from what they posted…
FOMO… Fear Of Missing Out https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fear_of_missing_out
(with my italicized additions)
Fear of missing out (FOMO) is the feeling of apprehension that one is either not in the know or missing out on information, events, experiences, life decisions (or food) that could make one's life better (or tastier). FOMO is also associated with a fear of regret (being healthy, feeling fit, having energy), which may lead to concerns that one might miss an opportunity for social interaction, a novel experience, a memorable event, or a profitable investment. It is characterized by a desire to stay continually connected with what others are doing (peer pressure, feeling enough, feeling good about yourself, looking good to others), and can be described as the fear that deciding not to participate is the wrong choice. FOMO could result from not knowing about a conversation, missing a TV show, not attending a wedding or party (not wanting to be seen because of how you think you look), or hearing that others have discovered a new restaurant. FOMO in recent years has been attributed to a number of negative psychological and behavioral symptoms (low self-esteem, lack of confidence, hiding from social interactions).
FOMO has increased in recent times due to advancements in technology. Social networking sites (for many the only thing worse than being seen in person is to be seen as they “really” are online) creates many opportunities for FOMO. While it provides opportunities for social engagement, it offers a view into an endless stream of activities in which a person is not involved. Psychological dependence on social media can lead to FOMO or even pathological internet use. Pathological FOMO is also present in video games, investing, business marketing (and influencer weight loss, eating, exercise and fitness social media channels). The increasing popularity of the phrase has led to related linguistic and cultural variants. FOMO is associated with worsening depression and anxiety, and a lowered quality of life.
HISTORY
The phenomenon was first identified in 1996 by marketing strategist Dr. Dan Herman, who conducted research for Adam Bellouch and published the first academic paper on the topic in 2000 in The Journal of Brand Management. Dr. Dan Herman also believes the concept has evolved to become more wide spread through mobile phone usage, texting, and social media and have helped flesh out the concept of the fear of missing out to the masses. Before the Internet, a related phenomenon, “keeping up with the Joneses”, was widely experienced. FOMO generalized and intensified this experience because so much more of people's lives became publicly documented and easily accessed. Further, a common tendency is to post about positive experiences (that great restaurant) rather than negative ones (bad first date). Studies have found that the likelihood of experiencing fear of missing out has been linked to anxiety or depression.
Author Patrick J. McGinnis coined the term FOMO and popularized it in a 2004 op-ed in The Harbus, the magazine of Harvard Business School. The article was titled McGinnis' “Two FOs: Social Theory at HBS”, and also referred to another related condition, Fear of a Better Option (FOBO), and their role in the school's social life. The origin of FOMO has also been traced to the 2004 Harbus article by academic Joseph Reagle. Currently the term has been used as a hashtag on social media and has been mentioned in hundreds of news articles, from online sources like Salon to print papers like the New York Times.
PSYCHOLOGICAL
Fear of missing out has been associated with a deficit in psychological needs. Self-determination theory contends that an individual's psychological satisfaction in their competence, autonomy, and relatedness consists of three basic psychological needs for human beings. Test subjects with lower levels of basic psychological satisfaction reported a higher level of FOMO. FOMO has also been linked to negative psychological effects in overall mood and general life satisfaction. A study performed on college campuses found that experiencing FOMO on a certain day led to a higher fatigue on that day specifically. Experiencing FOMO continuously throughout the semester also can lead to higher stress levels among students. An individual with an expectation to experience the fear of missing out can also develop a lower level of self-esteem. A study by JWT Intelligence suggests that FOMO can influence the formation of long-term goals and self-perceptions (frustration, defeat, and often resignation to not be enough, or ever can be enough). In this study, around half of the respondents stated that they are overwhelmed by the amount of information needed to stay up-to-date, and that it is impossible to not miss out on something. The process of relative deprivation creates FOMO and dissatisfaction. It reduces psychological well-being. FOMO led to negative social and emotional experiences, such as boredom and loneliness. A 2013 study found that it negatively impacts mood and life satisfaction (creating and living the life you love) reduces self-esteem (never enough, others lives are always better than theirs), and affects mindfulness (self-awareness). Four in ten young people reported FOMO sometimes or often. FOMO was found to be negatively correlated with age, and men were more likely than women to report it (interesting, I wouldn’t think men would report it more than women).
BEHAVIORAL
The fear of missing out stems from a feeling of missing social connections or information. This absent feeling is then followed by a need or drive to interact socially to boost connections. The fear of missing out does not only lead to negative psychological effects but also has been shown to increase negative behavioral patterns. In aims of maintaining social connections negative habits are formed or heightened. A 2019 University of Glasgow study surveyed 467 adolescents, and found that the respondents felt societal pressure to always be available. According to John M. Grohol, founder and Editor-in-Chief of Psych Central, FOMO may lead to a constant search for new connections with others, abandoning current connections to do so. The fear of missing out derived from digital connection has been positively correlated with bad technology habits especially in youth. These negative habits included increased screen time, checking social media during school, or driving while texting. Social media use in the presence of others can be referred to as phubbing. Multiple studies have also identified a negative correlation between the hours of sleep and the scale at which individuals experience fear of missing out. A lack of sleep in college students experiencing FOMO can be attributed to the number of social interactions that occur late at night on campuses. Another study has highlighted the impact of FOMO in college students making adverse decisions with alcohol such as underage drinking, and binge drinking.
SOCIAL MEDIA
Fear of missing out has a positive correlation with higher levels of social media usage. Social media connects individuals and showcases the lives of others at their peak. This gives people the fear of missing out when they feel like others on social media are taking part in positive life experiences that they are personally also experiencing. This fear of missing out related to social media has symptoms including anxiety, irritability, and a feeling of inadequacy compared to others. Self-esteem plays a key role in the levels a person feels when experiencing the fear of missing out as their self worth is influenced by people they observe on social media. There are two types of anxiety, one related to genetics that is permanent and one that is temporary. This state anxiety or temporary anxiety is the one that is more relevant to the fear of missing out. The fear of missing out anxiety is temporary as it is directly related to the individual looking at social media sites for a short period of time. This anxiety is caused by a loss of feeling of belongingness through the concept of social exclusion. FOMO-sufferers may increasingly seek access to others' social lives, and consume an escalating amount of real-time information. A survey in 2012 indicated that 83% of respondents said that there is information overload in regards that there is too much to watch and read. Constant information that is available to people through social media causes the fear of missing out as people feel worse about themselves for not staying up to date with relevant information. Social media shows just exactly what people are missing out on in real time including events like parties, opportunities, and other events leading for people to fear missing out on other related future events. Another survey indicates that almost 40% of people from ages 12 through 67 indicate that social media has led to a higher feeling of the fear of missing out. Millennials are the most affected by the fear of missing out, the highest proportion compared to other generations and this is due to the prominence of social media for the generation. Social media platforms that are associated with FOMO include Snapchat, Facebook and Instagram.
CULTURAL
FOMO, as a word and as a social phenomenon, has several cultural variants. Before Americans discovered FOMO, however, Singaporeans had already named their own version "kiasu". Taken from the Chinese dialect Hokkien, kiasu translates to a fear of losing out but encompasses any sort of competitive, stingy or selfish behavior.
LINGUISTIC
The term FOMO has also inspired offshoots such as FOBO, ROMO, FOMOMO, MOMO, FOJI, BROMO, NEMO, SLOMO and JOMO.
FOBO - meaning Fear of Better Options - was coined by American venture capitalist and author Patrick James McGinnis while he was a student at Harvard Business School. McGinnis describes FOBO as a byproduct of a hyper-busy, hyper-connected world in which everything seems possible, and, as a result, you are spoiled for choice.[48]
ROMO is a term coined during the COVID-19 pandemic that stands for Reality of Missing Out. ROMO describes the feeling of knowing that you are not missing out on anything.
FOMOMO stands for the Fear Of the Mystery Of Missing Out. FOMOMO refers to a more extreme case of FOMO that occurs when one's mobile device is unusable, resulting in angst caused by the inability to see what one is missing out on social media. Deprived of seeing friends’ social media posts, one may automatically assume that those on your social media feed are having a better time than you.
MOMO stands for the Mystery Of Missing Out, referring to the paranoia that arises when one's friends do not post anything on social media resulting in attempts to piece together what one may be missing out on.
FOJI stands for Fear Of Joining In and refers to the fear of posting on social media in the worry that nobody will want to connect, follow or be friends with you. FOJI (Fear of Joining In) is often seen as the opposite of MOMO (Mystery of Missing Out).
BROMO refers to instances when one's friends (“bros”) protect them from missing out. An example of BROMO would be if one's friends refrained from posting pictures from their night out for fear of making anyone feel left out.
NEMO stands for Nearly but not fully Missing Out. NEMO can refer to people who are on online networks, but do not check them frequently.
SLOMO stands for Slow to Missing Out, and refers to the gradual feeling that one is missing out.
JOMO stands for the Joy of Missing Out and refers to the feeling of pleasure when missing out. JOMO is a relatively positive belief that cutting off all social media and digital devices can be blissful.